|
Home
Office Address: |
|
HULA HOOP THERAPY "Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place." -Psalm 51:2-6 Imagine holding a hula hoop around yourself at waist level. Then repeat these words: "Everything inside this hula hoop I am responsible for and I can change with God's help. Everything outside this hula hoop I am not responsible for and I cannot change." This is an exercise we do during our seminars to demonstrate the principle of taking responsibility for our part of the relationship and respecting the fact that we can't change others; we can only change ourselves. Everything inside the hula hoop I am responsible for: my actions, my thoughts, the words out of my mouth, and even my feelings. Everything outside the hula hoop I am not responsible for, meaning, your actions, your thoughts, the words out of your mouth, and even your feelings. "But wait a minute," you say, "I thought I was responsible for my wife's happiness. After all, you're always saying it's the husband's responsibility." Let's be clear. The husband has the overall responsibility for the marriage and the family, but he is not responsible for each person's individual happiness. He's responsible for his hula hoop; to conduct himself in a manner that reflects the nature of Christ. If he succeeds in that endeavor chances are his wife and children will be happy. But if for some reason he does everything right, and the wife is still miserable, it is she who is responsible for her own feelings. She may have issues beyond his ability to bring healing. His responsibility goes as far as his actions -his hula hoop. She is responsible for her hula hoop -her feelings. Furthermore we need to keep out of each other's hula hoop. Wife, you can't change hubby. Quit trying. Get out of his hula hoop. Husband, you can't change wife; quit trying. Get out of her hula hoop. Worry about changing yourself, and by your example others will be influenced to positive change. That's leadership. Furthermore, as long as you're pointing to each other's hula hoop you will take no action toward personal change. As long as each one is looking to the other to change they excuse themselves from having to change. If they both take on that attitude then no one changes -stalemate! Question For The Both of Us: Do you think I take responsibility for my hula hoop? Why or why not? Do you think I try to get into yours? How? Prayer For the Both of Us: Lord, help us to take full responsibility for our own actions, thoughts, and even feelings. Help us to remain in our own hula hoops, and become the man and woman you want us to be. Then -and only then- will our marriage be a reflection of your love in the earth. |
© 2007 Marriage & Family Savers Ministries