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DON’T CRITICIZE (The Evil Eye) “The ruthless will vanish, the mockers will disappear, and all who have an eye for evil will be cut down.” —Isaiah 29:20 Criticism comes easy. We can all see the faults of others, especially our spouse’. That’s natural. We all have the evil eye. We see faults in others, naturally. The problem is, if that’s what we’re going to communicate about, who in the world would want to talk to us? No one wants to “feel” criticized, or feel put down by criticism. We would rather have no communication than communication that makes us feel “less than.” So if we’re going to build a relationship on open and honest communication, that communication has to be free of the “evil eye.” You know, the eye just looking for something to criticize. Does it mean we overlook the faults of others? Well, yes! Doesn’t Jesus overlook our faults? The Bible tells us that God sees us not as we are –full of sin. But rather He sees us clothed in robes of righteousness! The Bible also teaches us that “love covers a multitude of sin” (1 Peter 4:8) and “in his light we see light.” (Psalm 36:9) Are we not to see one another the same way God sees us? I think so. “But how do you deal with truth if you just pretend the other person doesn’t have faults?” Don’t read more into this. I never said the person doesn’t have faults. Of course they do, just like you! But you choose not to uncover them in such a way that degrades them. Instead, if it’s an issue that needs to be addressed you look for a time and a way that you can address it in a constructive manner so that your spouse can possibly change their ways, if it is deemed to be a valid criticism. People want to be with people who make them feel good about themselves when they are with them. They don’t want to be with people who make them feel bad about themselves when they are with them. The more you criticize, the more incapable you will be of having a relationship. The speck of sawdust in your spouses’ eye will eventually become the beam in your own eye, because after a while you will train yourself to see the faults and not the blessings. We must train ourselves to do what is contrary to our nature: see the blessings and ignore the faults to the extent you can without compromising truth. Question For The Both of Us: Do we tend to see the faults in each other rather than the blessings? Do we anticipate feeling “put down” by the other? How does that affect our desire to want to communicate? Prayer For the Both Of Us: Lord, help us gouge out that “evil eye.” So that we may see one another as you see us. Let your love cover the multitude of our own sin. Let us magnify the good in one another. Help us to deal truthfully with criticism in a constructive, edifying way. Build your kingdom in our relationship. |
© 2007 Marriage & Family Savers Ministries