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DO CARE “After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- for we are members of his body.” –Ephesians 5:29,30 It’s been said, “People don’t care about what you know until they know that you care.” How true! “Care” is the “first base” to any meaningful and lasting relationship. We must get there first, before there can be any chance to get to second base, then third base and ultimately, “home.” It is foundational to effective communication. It’s not enough to say you care if it isn’t effectively communicated to your spouse. Unfortunately, if we’re not effectively communicating that we care, it’s probably because –contrary to what we may believe- we really don’t care –at least not enough to matter. The problem with deception is that the one who is being deceived doesn’t think they are being deceived while they are being deceived, otherwise they wouldn’t be deceived! (Did you follow that?) If your spouse doesn’t think you care, then you probably don’t, at least not enough to get you to first base. The truth is you can probably use your spouses’ evaluation as a better indicator than your own sense of self-knowledge. We must realize that the heart is deceptive above all things and desperately wicked. We don’t know our own hearts until God reveals it, and it usually isn’t pretty! We must effectively communicate, “I care about how you feel.” Without that message establishing a firm foundation in the moment-by-moment stuff, everything else is built on shifting sand. It will topple. You don’t have to agree or understand. You certainly don’t have to fix it. But you do have to care about how your spouse feels. Without that, trying to make the marriage work is just an exercise in futility. You can’t fake it. If it’s true that you care more about other things (like not dealing with it) than your spouse’ feelings it’s time to get on your knees and repent of uncaring-ness and ask God to put a sense of caring in your heart, so that it will flow from your mouth. How much should you care? More than anything else except for your relationship with God. In fact, if your relationship with God is right, it will compel you to care about your spouse. The reality is that your relationship with God is directly reflected in your relationship with your spouse. Do you care? Then show it. That’s first base. Question For The Both of Us: Do we really care about how the other one feels? How do we communicate that? Do we communicate that we care more about what we want, or even protecting ourselves? Prayer For The Both of Us: Lord help us communicate we care. Put it in our hearts to care about how one another feels. We may not always be able to “fix it.” or even provide godly counsel, but we can always provide care. Lord, put it in our hearts to care, and then help us work it out. |
© 2007 Marriage & Family Savers Ministries